Video Time Again!
Now, this video is talking about gender bias, how we associate certain toys or colors to gender. I think we can all agree that we have done this before. When playing with a little girl, we try to give her the dolls and the soft pink toys. For boys, we give them the trucks and the more action-orientated stuff. I’m sure we've all done this at some point, and if you think you haven’t, you’re lying unless you have never played with children.
Even when we try to be gender neutral, we can’t really be gender neutral. When going to a baby shower and you try to stick with the ‘gender neutral colors’ like green and yellow, the colors aren't gender neutral. Green is more of a boy color and yellow is more of a girl color. (Unless you go with white, but let's be honest, it’s kinda boring.) Even they toys we buy are gender orientated. Have you gone down the toy aisle lately? There are girl toys in one aisle and boy toys in another. They don’t mix.
Why? It’s not because of the toy companies and the store conspiring to make everything for one gender and one gender only. It’s because boys and girls like different things. (Here’s a great article that shows research on how Infants Prefer Toys By Gender if you want to learn more.) Most little girls like playing with dolls and being involved with dramatic play that involves feelings while most little boys like to have more action in their play with things like explosions and fights.
While this is true, kids are also their own person. Not every girl likes to play with dolls and not every boy likes sports and explosions. That’s perfectly ok. It’s all about nature and nurture. To be more precise, nature affects the nurture and nurture effects nature. For example, let's go back to the video and talk about gender bias. If a child is naturally more, say, aggressive that will affect the way he or she is nurtured. If a child is naturally more gentle and sensitive, it will also affect the way he or she is nurtured. Generally, boys are more rough and tumble people and so they way you nurture them will most likely be giving them activities that use there rough and tumble play. You will be more likely to wrestle with them and play more sports with them. Girls are generally more sensitive so they way you nurture them will most likely be more playing dolls with feelings. Most often we do this without thinking. Even when we want to overcome these stereotypes, the little kids know what they know, and you can’t change that. Don’t discourage kids to not be true to themselves because it only will damage them. If a girl wants to play with a doll or play with trucks, just let them! If a boy wants to wrestle or play with a doll, let him! Don’t try to make them someone they're just because it is or isn’t their gender norm.
Overall I’m trying to say that males and females are different! We are not the same and that ok!
Honestly, it’s a little childish to think otherwise.
Research has proven again and again that men and women are not equal, that we are different. Why is this such a bad thing!? Seriously, someone tell me why this is a bad thing? We teach our children that being different is okay, but then we turn around and protest that we want to be equal? Why are we shooting for equality? Men and women are not equal. (Just hear me out.) Why shoot for equality when we could be shooting for fair? Treated in a fair way that is. Equal and fair is not the same thing.
Good old Google defines equality as; the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities. Fair is defined as; in accordance with the rules or standards; legitimate or without cheating or trying to achieve unjust advantage.
First of all, men and women, males and females, are different and will never be equal. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING! Why? Do we have any sports people out there? What would happen if you went to a game and just before the game started the ref came out and said, ‘ladies and gentlemen, this game is going to be an equal game,” and the ref walks off. You don’t understand what this means, but afterward, you wish you would have gone to your kid's soccer game because it would have saved you 50 bucks. The game you just experienced might as well been a little league game because everything was equal. Both teams have players the exact same hight as the other team. Each team has the same skill level as the other. Every time one team scored, the other team was given a chance to score or else it wouldn't be ‘equal’. So by the end of the game, everyone is a winner! But it was super boring. If only it had been a fair game, that way there would be excitement!
Do you see where I’m coming from? If everyone was equal or the same, we would have no excitement! There would be no change! But if things are fair, we get to have excitement and change while also having things, well, fair.
Males are different than females. Females are different than males. I’m not just saying different as in physically different, I’m talking about biologically and cognitively different. These are just the facts.
Women are:
- Relationships orientation (or relationship focused)
- Emotionally expressive
- Communication nurturing
Men are:
- Spatial orientation (ability to determine one’s position, location, and motion relative to their environment.)
- Action-oriented (Provide, Preside, Protect)
- Generally more aggressive (like to wrestle etc..)
These are just a few of the differences between men and women. (If you’d like to learn more about these differences, this video A Tale of Two Brains is a great resource of showing how men and women think differently, therefore act differently.)
Because of our differences, we can’t be equal as in being just as good as the other. But why would we want to? Men are great the way they are (contrary to popular belief) and women are great the way they are (contrary to popular belief). So why, please someone tell me why, do we feel the need to change that! Why change a good thing? Don’t you realize that we should be working together instead of arguing about being “equal”?
Here are the benefits of having men and women working together:
- We can grow from each other.
- Children have two different individuals, with different strengths, to go to for guidance.
- Different perspectives!
I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. Instead of fighting and comparing against each other we need to work together. Complete NOT Compeat. Like Yin and Yang. We need to have balance.
If we do that, we start a change reaction of improvements in society, culture and in our own families.
Comments